The Daily Joys Project - Social Distancing Journal | COVID-19

COVID-19.

I am emotionally drained.

Between breaking news that hardly offers anything positive or constructive, the fear of the unknown and unseen… I’m tired.

A part of me feels like I need to be productive, and the other half just wants to sleep.

I am a full time artist, so all of my gigs have been cancelled and therefore, I won’t have any money coming in.

I’ve been applying to jobs, and businesses have been closing down.

I am being compliant with Social Distancing so I can’t see the people that I love.

My mother and I are not on good terms, so I feel parentless.

I’m afraid. I’m stressed. I’m worried about the ones that I love.

I can’t control ANY of that, so I’ve decided to focus on what I can control.

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and I can feel myself slipping into a deep sadness as the time goes on. In therapy, I learned techniques to help cope and deal… but I’ve been feeling… helpless… hopeless… alone… misunderstood… confused.

This distancing is really messing with my head and heart. So, I’ve decided to try to find small joys in my day, week… in every breath to keep me hanging on.

Today my husband and I took a drive.

Today was sunny and breezy and refreshing. A cool 64 degrees, and I stood in the sun.

For five minutes I almost forgot that we were in the middle of a pandemic. I felt free.

Being in a room all day can really start to mess with your head. I was feeling like my skin wasn’t mine and I wanted to come out of it… I don’t know if that makes sense.

Either way, the sun and breeze felt great on my skin and for an hour and a half, I felt free.

So here’s to today’s daily joy.

Sunlight and Spring Breeze.

Much Love & Much Joy,

Alecia